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The day I dreamt of becoming someone

Reading a story is like pealing an onion, each chapters reveal new secrets and show more hidden layers. Every person has their own story to tell, which are mysteriously connected with the stories of millions of other people living in this planet or had lived. We think ourselves as an individual with our own identity and conscience, but NO, we are connected beings not just with DNA or through our blood lines - but through our stories. Stories are at the heart of our being, and at the core they are our reasons of living. The physical being of us has no meaning, but as a connected being with millions of other stories, we individually play an important role. So here is my story of dreaming.

Story doesn’t being when we are born, or when we are given a name by the almighty holy priest. It beings when we all hit upon our consciences that pushes us to make a decision which transpires our story and defines our character and role in this world. For some it begins early, but for some it begins …
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Waiting for the right bus

Everyday, after college I would walk home with my friends. Wandering around and talking about future. What will we do? How will we be? How much will we change? Ideas! Ambitions! Life!!!

Everything always tumbled down to a cup of tea at a near by shop, where we were regular visitors. A sip of tea and bunch of thought provoking questions and contradictions. All intelligent and weird minds searching for the answer to a common question - the meaning of life. Trying to find that right path towards salvation. Complete Consciousness!!

Now and then we would simply get lost within ourselves, in the midst of the crowd. Thoughts wandering far beyond the time frame. Everyone building their life on their own dimensions. Confident. Lost. But hopeful.

Like some lost sailors on a boat, every one of us would be looking at different directions hoping to see some signs of calling. But then we wouldn't find any. "What are we searching for ?", would be one damning question in every one'…

Tic Tok

I didn’t do anything, I just sat there,  keeping silent, eyes closed, heart beating, mind wandering, long breathing, in and out, just breathing, just waiting, for nothing.
I just didn’t do anything. I just sat there,  holding down the tears, listening to tic tok, tic tok just listening, just waiting, for nothing.
when i opened my eyes, tears rolled down, mind went numb, heart stopped, no more tic tok i had lost it i realised I whispered to myself i had lost it took long deep breath and just sat there. just waiting  for nothing.
- bexdeep
Image taken at Allahabad

Graduation - A recurring dream.

I didn’t go to my graduation - I couldn’t make it. There was no cap swinging or photo taking celebration with certificates and friends. Like many other moments of life, it simply skipped without a knock on the door or any hello and goodbyes.

May be thats why, even after so many years I still dream of graduating. Its one of those recurring dreams where you are still at your final year of college. The dream typically starts with the confusion of not knowing the exact date of your examination and you are frantically calling you friends to confirm the date.

I always find myself in my old room, surrounded by notes and books. Nervous and Confused. Within the dream, sometime I keep questioning “Am I back in home? How and Why?” Then as the time passes by in the dream, the day of examination comes closer and things gets hazy. I try calling friends, no one is there receiving my calls.

There are multiple routes in the dream. In one, I make to the examination hall and end up realising I studied …

Lost in thoughts

There I stood Lost in thoughts Consumed by life
Waiting Not be to forgiven But to be understood
Looking Not for the answers But the right questions
Hoping  Not for the miracles But an honest direction
There I stood Lost and consumed Hopeful and Secure
Thinking Not about the future Nor about the past
There I stood Lost in thoughts Consumed by life
- bexdeep

Sound of fear

Dark dungeon He walked into it Without a sword But a dimly lit candle
A drop of water Echoed from the darkness Pericing  his heart A sound of fear
Clutching his fist He walked in silence Eyes wide open Ears all sharp
A tiny whirlpool of wind Underneath from ground Tickled its way up he stood  petrified 
Motionless and super conscious His bone crackled Twitching his eyes But he didn't step back
With candles half burnt Not a soul encountered Up he looked Curious and undeterred
A whiff of fresh air He could breathe Hinting him to The new direction 
As the candle lit off He stumbled down To notice a beam of  Light far away 
With a smile He walked into it With nothing But a passion
- bexdeep

Unreachable Memories

There he walked
soul less
all alone

lost within the
unreachable memories
from his past

He paused and
closed his eyes
lost within the sounds

As his heart
quenched with pain
tears rolled down

This is where
he remembered
had killed her

-bexdeep